Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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