Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
