Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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