Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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