They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
