Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you win again, gameday.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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