I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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