Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
