i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
