Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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