He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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