My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
...so i touched it.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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