and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
