I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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