I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
