ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
as a side note pls kill me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize