what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
