You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
