You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
