your room smells of hookers.
And success
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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