It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
