If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
