It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
