I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
