So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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