Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
