It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
