shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize