im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
