I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize