I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
