Me. At least after what I've been through.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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