Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
