how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
