omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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