Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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