Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
