I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
