there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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