every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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