just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
