omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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