i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
