I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
