can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
