it's great music for shaving your balls
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
