Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
no, he came in my armpit
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize