you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
