how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
