Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
