we have officially lost it.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
