They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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