names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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