he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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