The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
