I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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