She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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