Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
