you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize