ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and she was petting her beer can
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize