just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
