you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
