Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
