The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
