standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
