sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
